This is not an exit

Ten songs that have given up on love

In Uncategorized on February 13, 2012 at 8:30 am

I’ve already apologized for my absence over the last week, so I’m not going to repeat it here. Besides, the songs in this section of my two-part Music Monday spectacular are meant for those of you who have nothing to be sorry for. You were screwed over and you don’t care who knows it. Okay, maybe you don’t want to be open about it, but you don’t have anyone special to spoil or be spoiled by tomorrow and that’s left you feeling a little lonely.

No? Are you feeling the least bit angsty? Not that either, eh? Well, you must have at one point or another gone through a breakup or some kind of heart-shattering debacle over a potential boo, right? I mean, we were all teenagers once, after all (if you’re reading this and are still a teenager, quit loafing around and get a job.) These are all songs that have at one point or another gotten me through a breakup. Or convinced me that, yeah, there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s the girls who are all crazy and don’t know what’s good for them. I’m probably over-sharing here, so let’s just get right to the music, shall we?

10. The Format – “Dog Problems,” Dog Problems

We’ll start things on a high note. If you don’t listen to a single lyric and just focus on the music, this is a nice little upbeat tune you wouldn’t mind bringing home to mom. That is, until that tune starts screwing around on you and the last thing you say to it is “well, I hope it was worth it when you slept with him.” What? That’s not some deep-seated anecdote I’ve been storing for any given amount of time; it’s a lyric lifted directly from the song. Well, enjoy!

9. Blink-182 – “Obvious,” [untitled]

Here’s another song about relative lack of faith in a once-significant other. It’s quite a bit more melodramatic and direct than The Format’s, but if you want to be angry about the fact that you’re alone, this one’s for you. Hell, much of Blink-182’s newer material will float your boat if that’s the case. If you haven’t yet, go ahead and check out the band’s 2011 album, Neighborhoods. You’ll thank me later, trust me.

8. Motion City Soundtrack – “My Favorite Accident,” I Am The Movie

One of the biggest disagreements you’ll have with yourself after a breakup is that you’ll think the relationship that just ended was the best thing that ever happened to you, yet it was a complete waste of [insert however long that relationship lasted here]. Well, Motion City Soundtrack really plays it up in style here, moog and all. To this day I have no idea what that pink bunny was doing in the video.

7. The Ataris – “Giving Up On Love,” End Is Forever

Listening to this song makes even the biggest pushovers smile. Who can be so unfortunate with love that the woman he asks to marry goes on a bender during a Billy Idol concert only to sleep around that night and call the guy for a ride the next morning?  That’s some pretty bad luck, isn’t it? You’ve been screwed over before, but probably nothing like this. And in the following weeks, months, maybe even years, you’ve most likely thought, “yeah, love sucks.” Here’s to you, Kris Roe.

6. Dashboard Confessional – “Rapid Hope Loss,” A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar

Many of the artists on this list also appeared in my other “Woo your boo” list, but Dashboard Confessional is the only band to accomplish this feat with two songs from the same album. And they play back-to-back, too! This song’s about some whiny emo dude coping with the fact that the chick he’s into isn’t all she seems. She’s a bit of a promise-breaker and he’s done with her. If Chris Carraba’s definitive demographic is any indicator of just what this broad is guilty of, it’s probably being less than excited at the prospect of an Arrested Development marathon.

5. fun. – “At Least I’m Not As Sad (As I Used To Be),” Aim & Ignite

This song doesn’t deal with love as much as it does reflecting on old times and being more out-going when you get a new perspective on life. But if there’s anything I’ve learned in my almost 25 years on this planet it’s that laughing, drinking, smoking and singing — all at once, if possible — is more than enough to get you out of any funk. This is also one of the most fun songs to watch live. That trumpet really pulls everything together.

4. Jack’s Mannequin – “La La Lie,” Everything In Transit

If you want to cope with a bad run-in with love in a manner more upbeat and, let’s face it, healthier than the rest of the songs on this list have us doing so far, this gem from former Something Corporate frontman Andrew McMahon might just be for you. It’s all about leaning on your friends in times of need. He or she may have taken your heart, but it’s not like you can’t play Mario Kart for hours on end with three pals and wash those worries away.

3. New Found Glory – “Listen To Your Friends,” Not Without A Fight

So you broke up, patched things up and got back together with someone you thought you might not be able to live without. And all the while your friends were warning you about this. The next thing you know you’ve been dumped for some guy named Rodrigo — this is likely more devastating for a woman dating a man — who owns a boat and swears he’ll take care of what you couldn’t. Yeah, you probably should have listened to your friends. And New Found Glory is telling you so right now.

2. The Starting Line – “Surprise, Surprise,” Based On A True Story

You might as well consider this a tie for first with the song that comes right after it. It’s been a part of my mopey-love mixtapes, CDs and playlists for as long as I can remember. That makes it sound like I’ve been screwed over by a lot of women, but … okay, it’s not a lot but it’s also not a tiny number. Then again, I’m sure every single guy out there feels similarly.

1. Saves The Day – “Rocks Tonic Juice Magic,” Through Being Cool

Just like The Starting Line’s “Surprise, Surprise,” this song has had pretty heavy rotation in every song compilation I’ve ever put together to cope with a broken heart. It’s quite a bit more morbid than anything else on the list — okay, a lot more morbid — but you’ve gotta admit it’d be pretty sweet to throw lemonade in the face of the girl or guy who screwed you over, right? This is definitely the most melodramatic song I’ll ever throw your way. Seriously, just consider the final lyrics: “You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide.” I would have been such a better twentysomething ten years ago …

I hope these songs gave you a reason to get out of bed if you’re alone. And if you’re in a meaningful relationship that’s going swimmingly, feel free to throw these on a playlist; you know you’re going to need them sooner or later. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go straighten my hair and brood for the rest of the week.

But what do YOU think?

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